Boom Roasted! Did somebody say roast?

After my last blog, and a personal pity party if I do say so myself, I’m happy to be here and writing… on time!

What is it about Mondays that just make you want to rear end the blue-haired, oversized-buick driving bitty in front of you?  I truly believe the world will end the day we solve this open ended problem, but I digress before ever being on track at all.  I woke up this morning in a piss poor mood but I had promised myself, my friend, my boyfriend and all of my one reader (please see slot two for identification) that I would get back on track this week and, unfortunately for me, that also included taking my lazy saddle bags back into Curves.  So, at 8:30 am, when I really just wanted to roll my unemployed ass right back over and go back to bed, I rolled right instead of left and landed on my two feet and headed to the bathroom for my morning drain.  Promptly following that: I brushed my teeth, threw my hair in a disgusting mess, grabbed my gym shoes and headed right out before I had a second chance to excuse myself from my scheduled appearance.

Upon my arrival, I was still anti-movement and almost got on the scale and walked out, mumbling something about forgetting my iPod in the car as I departed but, my conscience got the best of me so, I stayed.  I put my shit up, tossed on my “indoor” shoes, which, if we’re going to keep it real, have been worn outisde more than inside but I put on the facade for the shoe nazis they call instructors at my local Curves, and chose a machine that wasn’t too close to anyone else and began my circuit.

I took the first round pretty slow, pacing and preparing myself for the sweat fest I have been accustomed to in the past. However, I noticed that, although I had an accelerated heart rate, I wasn’t sweating nearly as much as I typically do.  It’s probably a good thing, too, since an “instructor”, whom I had never met, felt the need to introduce herself to me and strike up a conversation, telling me that she knew all about me and that I was doing great and to keep up the good work… Apparently, I’m the hot topic between the employees and they feel that it’s OK to tell me that they talk about me behind my back as long as they preface it with an encouraging compliment!  Who cares?!  I’m a Curves Celebrity! LOL

After pumping it up a notch for the second go-around, I noticed that my breathing had become labored and I was leaving disgusting (and embarassing) sweat marks on each piece of equipment as I moved from station to station; now THAT’S what I’m talking about! Half way through the second circuit, my alarm clock disturbed the entire facility as it rang loudly from my purse telling me it was time to wake the lazy me up!  Ha!  I’m already up and 5 minutes shy of finishing my FIRST Curves circuit since my surgery: @Monday Boom Roasted!

I felt pretty good after busting out a full circuit and headed over to the scale to face reality.  Although that evil muthasucka hasn’t been as daunting as it used to be, and we might even be working up a sincere camaraderie, I still hate to see the numbers weekly; it makes it hard to pretend I’m not overweight.  This week, my “friend” was good to me.  As I stepped on the scale, I prepared myself for another 2 lb loss but, was pleasantly surprised to see that I had lost 5.8 lbs and reached 247.6!  Holy love handles!  You know what that means: I am OFFICIALLY closer to 200 lbs than I am to 300 lbs and, it came one week earlier than expected!  @Scale Boom Roasted

Of course, my overly emotional ass busted out into a full cry standing in front of the scale and I called my mother right then & there to share my good news… way to answer the phone, Mom *eye roll*  It’s OK though because I stalked her and called her house and quickly rattled off what I had to tell her before allowing her to return to her daycare kids.  (They earn her money; I just earned her the gray hair she colors and highlights to cover up.)

I called and texted a few others to share the good news and then proceeded about my day.  I’ll have you know I ate both breakfast and lunch in a timely manner and had a mid-afternoon snack, too.  The only thing I need to get back on track still is my vitamins… I haven’t taken those recently and it is so crucial to staying healthy (and keeping my hair)!

How’s that for back on track?!  @formerfatbitch (from Motivation) Boom Roasted!


About formerfatbitch

I'm a former fat bitch on the path towards becoming a healthy bitch and I'm taking everyone along for the ride with me so saddle up!
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One Response to Boom Roasted! Did somebody say roast?

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Boom Roasted! Did somebody say roast? | formerfatbitch --

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