Holiday Hell

If you’re anything like me, you struggle with your weight and with overeating.  If you’re even more like me, you are a chronic over-eater and your full is a completely different version than that of the anorexic cheerleader you hated back in high school.  If you are me, you eat past the feeling of full, over the feeling of stuffed and usually unbutton your jeans after every meal, if you dared to wear jeans at all.  Add the holidays into the mix and you need medics with an over-sized gurney on standby!

I would love to sit here and tell you that this year was different for me because I just had gastric bypass surgery but that would be a lie.  I don’t know if it’s purely because I am excited to eat “normal” food again or maybe it’s because I, myself, wanted to seem “normal” but I ate terribly over the holiday weekend.  At least, that is how I felt before I really assessed my intake.

Thursday: I ate Spanish tapas with my girlfriend for lunch but did not overindulge and had just enough room leftover for a baby tiramisu desert.  When I say baby, I literally mean a 1 oz portion of the delectable treat that can be found in your local Whole Foods bakery section!  For dinner, I went out with my boyfriend and had a parmesan crusted fillet, baked sweet potato and macaroni & cheese.  I literally took two bites of each and asked for a doggy bag; I was done for the day!

Friday: I ran on fumes until 4:30 pm, where I then proceeded to eat the leftovers I had brought home the night before.  Again, I took two bites of each item and was done.  At 11 pm, I indulged in two small squares of pizza with my family; again, I was stuffed!

Saturday: I grazed like a true heifer!  I had a half of a piece of raw jumbo shrimp, a half of a baked mozzarella stick, three pieces of cocktail rye w/ homemade spinach dip slathered on top, a couple of slices of full fat cheese and a few Christmas cookies.  That was only the first house!  Then I had a small dinner of ham, greens, dressing & mostaccioli coupled with a glass or four of wine!  Can you saw disobedient COW?!

Sunday: I attempted leftovers again from Thursdays night’s dinner but took one bite and said “Nope, you are still full from being Pork the Pig yesterday”.  Later that day, I had a half a glass of wine and chicken & dumplings for dinner.  Ok, so it was only one dumpling and some chicken and gravy with a side of broccoli but I was still filled to capacity after that.  In fact, my boyfriend was burping me like a baby, which he does quite often to aid me in removing the gas from my stomach and, for the very first time, it worked its way down instead of up.  My mother just loved that…

With all that being consumed and me feeling like an utter weight loss surgery failure, I was, per usual, leery of stepping on that scale this morning.  Regardless, it had to be done and the final result was: a 2 lb loss!  I currently weight 255.4 lbs.  WOW!  You mean I ate ALL that and still lost 2 full lbs?

But wait… did I really eat that much?  I ate small portions, I ate slowly and the majority of my eating was over an extended period of time.  Maybe this just means that my mind frame is changing.  I mean, I felt like I ate how I used to eat and I HATED feeling that way but I really didn’t eat as much as I felt like I ate.  (Say that 10 times fast!)  At least this year I listened to my stomach.  It said I was full and I stopped eating.  Not once did I unbutton the new pair of jeans that are two full sizes smaller than my old ones after eating.  Not once did I require assistance in moving.  Not once did I truly regret placing anything in my mouth… Maybe a little bit of holiday guilt but, hey, isn’t that to be expected?

I made it through Holiday Hell!  Did you?


About formerfatbitch

I'm a former fat bitch on the path towards becoming a healthy bitch and I'm taking everyone along for the ride with me so saddle up!
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