I woke up from the most amazing dream this morning (I was about to hit a home run with Shemar Moore) and jumped out of bed with eager anticipation to go to the gym and weigh myself in for the week. All night Sunday I toyed with the idea of what I could weigh after my second week of being on this liquid diet, although at least this week it was full liquids, which consisted of yogurt, pudding, oatmeal, grits, and soups (all light, fat free, sugar free or all of the above). I considered the fact that I was now in the lower 260’s, with 262 being the highest and I even entertained the idea that MAYBE, just MAYBE, I could be in the 250’s; I pushed that thought out rather quickly though, trying not to set myself up for too much disappointment. (Here, of course, is where the irony lies for the next paragraph of this post!)
So, I threw on some light sweats and my hoodie, jumped in the car and headed for Curves. When I got there, I eagerly ripped of my gym shoes, threw my hoodie off to the side and hopped on the digital scale I weigh myself on. (If it hasn’t been figured out by now, I do not own one of my own; it helps keep me as non-OCD as someone who’s own grandfather calls her Monk can be.) As I watched the numbers go up rapidly, my heart dropped: 264.8.
264.8? Is this bootleg scale on drugs? I’ve been eating, or should I say drinking, less than 500 calories every day. Can I add that this is not by choice? My body has been craving a slice of meat, any meat, for days now! Seriously, throw a bitch a bone here! No, really, throw me a bone and I guarantee you I’d find at least one nibble of chicken or turkey or ham on that mother scratcher! How could I only have lost 2.8 lbs this week?
The only thing I can think of is that I haven’t been knocking back my protein shakes like I’m supposed to and so the lack of protein, which they so strongly urge you to consume, made my digestive system shut down and say, “Heffa! You are starving yourself. We are on strike. Signed, your internal digestive organs.” Well I have news for you bastards: mama found a protein shake that works and I’ve already had 2 today with every intention of drinking my third. How do you like them apples?
All I can do from here is move onto the next stage of foods: pureed & very soft foods, drink my protein and be as physically active as I can be. I refuse to be discouraged this early in the game. Tomorrow, I see the doctor for my two week follow up and we will see what he has to say about my measly 2.8 lbs. Maybe he will confirm that it’s because I’ve been slacking on the protein or maybe he will say it’s because I’m off my insulin medicine and so my body is still storing food instead of converting it like it should. Whatever it may be, I just pray he doesn’t say it’s abnormal. I’ve been poked and prodded enough; hell, I’ve still got scabs from BOTH my IV entries and a handful of bruises from those awful blood thinner shots. I’m done until further notice my damn self!